There is heart break galore in the world. Big heart breaks, like the recent massacre of beautiful people in Orlando and little heart breaks like your dearest dreams being unfulfilled. Thousands of reasons for our hearts to break, every day. When I think about my girls growing up and sending them out into a world that will break their hearts, not just once but dozens of times, I feel faint. If I could have it my way, they would never experience heart break or disappointment. They would see their dearest dreams come true and they would never experience death or loss of those they love or be victims of senseless crime or ridicule or bullying. But, that is not the reality of the world we live in, it’s broken and full of broken people. 

This reality of the eventual heart break makes me think about what I hope for them when they encounter it. I hope that they will learn to love well and deeply even though their hearts will be broken. Fear of the heart break is no way to live. Fear causes us to do crazy things, to judge and to criticize what we don’t know. I hope that they will push past their fears and enter in with the hard situations and hardened people. I hope that they know that the fear will never go away. That it will always be there to rear its ugly head but that it will get quieter and less overpowering the more they choose to love. Perfect love casts out fear. (1 John 4:18) 

So, my dear ones when you are tempted to shrink back and give into fear, I hope that you will be brave and choose to love, that is the only way to conquer your fears. 

What do you hope for your kids in the future? 

Mom Insecurity

When I became a mom, I wanted to give my child the best of everything. I wanted to do everything perfect and just the right way. Which is what I think every new mom wants to do. I read books, went to classes, and researched articles online to come up with what I thought was the best way to take care of my baby. I was feeling really good about it until I opened up Facebook and Instagram. I started to compare myself with my mom friends and I was coming up short. How could my friend’s baby be sleeping through the night at a month old and mine was still waking up too many times to count at 9 months old? What was wrong with me? What was wrong with my baby? Then as if my own thoughts of inadequacy weren’t enough, I started to get comments and questions about how I was talking care of my baby from well-meaning family, friends, and even strangers! 

Each time, the comments would shake my confidence and make me question if I was doing the right thing. Until one day (after crying about a stranger’s comment in the corner of Target), I realized that I was caring way too much about what other people thought. God made me the mother of my children for a reason, he trusts me to take care of them. Why can’t I trust myself? It’s ok if I do something differently than another mom, because God made every single person different. We will all parent differently because of how we were made and our life experiences. Let’s just give ourselves and each other a break, ok? The mom who feeds her child organic and the mom who feeds her child fast food are both loving their children. God says not to worry about what we will eat or drink (Matthew 6:25-34). In light of that, I don't think we should be worrying about what other people are feeding or giving their children to drink or judge them for it. 

We are pro-sugar. 

The only thing, LITERALLY THE ONLY THING that matters is that we love our kids. This is what the Bible says love is… “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” (1 Corinthians 13) This is our standard. This is how we should love our kids and also love other moms. I know we aren’t perfect, we will mess up. Believe me, I need grace every day! Let’s remember what really matters, and not get caught up in the little things. Let’s encourage each other in the most excellent way: love. 

Do you find yourself getting insecure about your parenting choices or judging what other moms do? What helps you remember what really matters?

Waiting Patiently

Waiting…it’s something we all do. I find that I am constantly telling my girls to wait and to be patient. They just don’t seem to be grasping the concept yet, because usually they whine or fight each other while I fixing them lunch or when we are driving in the car. It’s very frustrating. I just don't know how many times we are going to have to go over what waiting patiently is. When I ask them to please be patient and wait, this is what I would like:

-to sit/stand there calmly and quietly, expecting and knowing that I am on my way to get the thing that they need.

This is what usually happens:

-They keep asking me about it, can’t they see I am on the way to getting the thing they asked for?!

-They fight each other because they can’t have what they want right this very second

-They complain and yell that it’s not fast enough

This happens multiple times a day and I wish they would get with the program already! In my frustration, I felt God tell me, “Have you even learned to be patient in waiting?” OH crap. How I react in waiting for God’s timing is similar to how my kids act. First, I ask and wait for a second then I keep asking God about it. When the answer doesn't come as fast as I would like it, I start complaining about it and whining to my friends. Then I start fighting with my sweet husband because I’m unhappy that I’m not getting what I want, right when I want it. How many times have I acted this way? I am ashamed to admit that it’s been too much. I wonder if God feels the same way about my impatience as I feel about my girls’ lack of patience. Does he get frustrated? It makes me think of the nation of Israel being rescued and on their way to the promised land. They complained and whined and God had to deal with their disobedience. Because of their whining, their journey took them 40 years instead of only 11 days! (I remember hearing this fact from Joyce Meyer.) 

This makes me think of when I am getting something the girls need, like a snack, and then they are whining or fighting. I have to stop getting their snack and address their behavior. It would have taken less time to just get the snack, but stopping to correct them took away time from getting their request. It blows my mind how many parallels there are between parenting and the Israelites in the desert. It really makes me appreciate God and what He does for me. Maybe I am having a delayed response to prayer because of my attitude and God in his wisdom is lovingly correcting me. I correct my kids’ behavior because I don't want them to be brats. Maybe God is helping me not become a brat too? How do you wait patiently? How do you teach your kids to do it too?