For Part 1 in the Comparison Trap series click HERE.

When I was a new mom, I was functioning in survival mode from sleep deprivation. I could only do a few things like drink coffee and feed my baby, everything else in my life fell away because I had no capacity to do anything else. I lost my train of thought often and my brain was fuzzy. The exhaustion of not getting enough sleep was catching up to me making me cranky and self-focused. That’s the thing about survival mode, your body is just thinking about whatever it can do to preserve self. 

Comparison can put us in a type of survival mode. A mode that is devoid of God's peace. Instead of peace, we usually like in two different attitudes: 

1. Fear

Comparison can strike panic into our hearts, with thoughts of “I don't want that to happen to me or my family.”  or “I’m a failure.” We begin to feel like we aren't not doing enough, being enough,  or are enough based on how we see other people living and serving Jesus. 

OR

2. Envy 

Comparison makes us jealous of what others have: their creativity, houses, money, looks and the list goes on and on.

Fear and envy are the fruit of our hearts when we begin comparing ourselves to others.

Living in a state of fear or envy is like living in survival mode because we can only see what is right in front of us, namely how we are failing or not measuring up. we can't see the whole picture because all we can focus on is ourselves and our shortcomings. Our accomplishments, the good we do, and the love God has for us all fades away. 

I think about God’s peace being like sleep. We need sleep to function properly and we need God’s peace if we are to function in the Spirit. If we are deprived of His Peace, then we are functioning in a frantic survival mode that doesn’t help us to connect to Him or other people. We become cranky, our thoughts are disjointed and don't make the most sense. 

Comparison takes things away from us, there are consequences if we give in to the fear and envy it brings. Our capacity to do what God has called us to do is lowered. 

The Consequences of Comparison are: 

-loss of community with those we are comparing ourselves too

-a skewed view of ourselves and others 

-a lack of appreciation for God’s creativity 

-a loss of the ability to express our own creativity

This is detailed in Galatians 5:16-24. Paul talks about life in the spirit versus life in the flesh. Comparison happens in the flesh and this is what we can expect when we are acting in the flesh:

“ …Hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions….” (Galatians 5:20)

I know that those things are not what God wants for us. He does not want us to live in fear (2 Timothy 1:7) or envy (Galatians 5:21). He wants us to be at peace and full of joy, to be filled with the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22). 

We can do that if we can learn to stop measuring our worth based on who other people are/what they are doing and start getting our worth from the one who tells us we are  

“…fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14) 

Have you seen consequences from comparison in your own life? 

The Comparison Trap Part 1: The Root of Comparison

It seems like the temptation to compare myself to my friends and strangers on the internet is a daily, even hourly struggle. At any given moment I have the ability to see what everyone is doing and not just what they are doing but a filtered version that looks beautiful and lovely. Don't get me wrong, I love looking at the pretty pictures on Instagram and I honestly love trying to create beautiful pictures too. 

But the key word here is: create. 

Sometimes I capture beautiful spontaneous moments and sometimes I rearrange things to be more pleasing to the eye. But you would have no way of knowing which ones those are. You don't know what happened during those pictures if the smile is natural or forced. You can’t know the real me based on tiny squares on the internet. Because you know what’s definitely not pictured there are the times I snap in anger or the pile of dirty dishes in my sink. It’s just not as pretty. Almost everyone is trying to put their best foot forward on social media and we shouldn’t compare their best with our worst. It’s not fair to ourselves. 

Since my New Year’s Reflection, I have been thinking about this issue in my life. 

When I first had the idea to write a post about comparison, I thought it would be a quick one with my ideas of ways that I try to combat it in my own life. As I started to write, I could see that just sharing tips wouldn't be enough. Comparison is multi-faceted. I started thinking about why we compare ourselves, what happens when we do, and how we can fight it.That was too much information for one post that I decided to make it into a series. I am excited to do my first series with you guys and I can't wait to hear your thoughts on comparison as well! 

Let's start at the beginning with Part One in this series, The Comparison Trap. I want to look at the Root of Comparison in our lives.

The Comparison Trap, Part 1: The Root of Comparison

Why do we compare ourselves? 

Maybe it started when we were young and we were compared to a sibling or a friend and we realized that we weren't matching their standard.  Or maybe it’s because we live in a society that puts perfection on a pedestal and we are always trying to keep up with that impossible standard. 

We might compare because we are trying to figure out:

1. Where we fit

2. Who our people are

3. What we are called to be doing

Which isn't necessarily a bad thing because the Bible tells us we are all many parts of one body. (1 Corinthians 12:12-27) If we are a nose, knowing that the nose is on the face would be a good thing so that we can function properly. If we look at who we are as the nose and then decide that we aren't as good as the eyes, then that's a problem. A body needs both eyes and a nose. Each part is important to remain whole and function properly. 

In light of this, what does COMPARISON actually mean? 

According to Miriam Webster and Dictionary.com, the word COMPARE is a verb. It is an action that examines two items closely to see the similarities and differences between them. 

Seeing the differences and similarities between people is a natural thing to do. BUT we have a choice on how we respond after we gather that information: condemn or celebrate.  Let’s CELEBRATE what we find instead of condemning; condemning ourselves and each other because we are different.  

Why do we condemn and not celebrate? I think it all has to do with our pride.

In my opinion, the root of comparison is pride. 

Pride is more obvious if we are finding ourselves greater and others less, but if we are finding ourselves lesser and others greater that’s pride too! Crazy, huh? 

I’ll never forget when I heard pride being described as “Wow is me” and “Woe is me”  during a sermon at church. (This book even talks about it too!) It has never left me. I thought I was being humble because I wasn't thinking that highly of myself. I was still being prideful because I was focused on me. The common word in those descriptions of pride is ME. 

We need to remove "me" from the equation and instead realize it's about Christ: how he made us and how he created others. His standard is "..love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 12:31). We can't do that if we are constantly judging whether or not we are worse or better than them. 

1 Corinthians 13:4 says love “is not proud.” If pride is at the center of our hearts we can't be loving our neighbors or ourselves as God has called us to.

What do you think the root of comparison is in your life? Is it pride or something else?