Getting married was my biggest dream, I can remember playing with my first Barbie and Ken who were a Bride and Groom when I was little. I read teen romance novels when I was in high school and longed for the time when my Prince Charming would show up. When I finally met Prince Charming and got married, the reality of marriage didn't match up with my dreams. My husband and I weren’t exactly Barbie and Ken or the characters from my romance novels. We were imperfect people who couldn’t complete each other. It was a bumpy first year for us, but thankfully we had some great friends and resources that helped us get to where we are today (a healthy marriage!). If you find yourself realizing that you aren’t Barbie and your husband isn’t Ken, here are some things that can help: 

-Talk to a friend or married couple who has been married longer than you. One of the best things we did was talk to a couple who had been married for a few years more than us and they were able to give us some perspective and share things that helped them. 

-Join a married couples life group/community group/bible study/ whatever your church calls it. This was seriously a game changer. We were a part of an awesome lifegroup who shared honestly about their marriages and we prayed for each other. I really don’t know where our marriage would be if we hadn’t been a part of this group (Shoutout to the Pullen lifegroup, love you guys!) 

-Read some books about marriage or do a small group study on them. These are my favorite ones. They have shaped what I think about marriage and have been a great reference throughout the years. You & Me Forever, The Power of a Praying Wife, Sacred Marriage, The Art of Marriage, The Gift of Sex. 

-A weekly date night where you actually talk to each other. I found this awesome blog, Today's Letters, that is a great resource on marriage. On her blog, she shares 5 Questions to ask each other each week and they have sparked some great conversations between us. Here are the questions:

1. How did you feel loved this past week?

2. What does your upcoming week look like?

3. How would you feel most loved & encouraged in the days ahead?

4. How would you best feel pursued in sex/intimacy this week?

5. How can I pray for you this week? 

-PRAY. Not just prayers for your husband/wife to change, but pray for you to be changed, for you to be more loving. 

I am definitely not an expert on marriage by any means, I just love sharing resources! What are some things that have helped you in your marriage? I would love to know!

Low- Maintenance New Mom Essentials

Photo cred: Jamie Ogletree :)

This is a list that was born out of a conversation with my bestie who just had her first baby (he’s so precious and cute, Hula please send me a daily picture, I’m serious.) She wanted to know what items I used and I gave her this list of what I deem the “low-maintenance new mom essentials.” How do you know if you might be a low-maintenance mom? You might be wearing pjs right now…(like me at lunch time) or you might be a jeans and t-shirt kinda gal. Just someone who’s got the basics, not trying to get too fancy. Without further ado here it is:

Low-Maintenance New Mom Essentials

-Boppy with a leak guard cover: bring this to the hospital to make nursing easier for you & baby, leak proof covers can go underneath a cute one, it helps keep the pillow from being soaked with milk

At the SAHM's Mecca

-Baby gowns: these are awesome for all the night diaper changes those first few weeks

-Swaddle blankets: Aiden & Anais are worth the money!

-Burp cloths: these are so good to have on hand for spit up that happens unexpectedly

-Baby swing or bouncy seat so you can shower

-Cradle/bassinet/pack & play for by your bedside, makes late night feedings easier

-Ergo baby carrier: I think this feels the most supportive and doesn't hurt your back like other carriers

-Nursing cover: they make ones that turn into an infinity scarf and provide more coverage!

-Bumbo: a good alternative to tummy time and my kids loved it! and it’s nice for a high chair when just starting out solids

-Nursing tanks & nursing bras

-Breast pads: they have disposable or reusable (I did reusable) they guard against leaks of breastmilk through your shirt

-Baby finger nail clippers

-Diaper bag filled with: breast pads, nursing cover, extra shirt for you, one extra outfit for baby, burp cloth, diapers, wipes, diaper cream, a couple snacks for you, like trail mix or granola bar

These are items that worked best for me. What was an essential item for you (even if you are a fancy mom)? 

A Letter to My Pre-Kid Self

Dear Megan who has no children, who is currently expecting her first baby and has no clue how her life will be utterly flipped upside down.

Hey girl, listen up:

Number one, just please go take a nap because you could literally do anything you want right now, but this is what you will miss the most. Just get that nap then come back and finish this……

Refreshed? Please relish that feeling because it won’t be felt for a looooong time.  

Megan, I just want you to know that you have no idea what you are about to get into. You think you have some little idea because of birthing class and that class that taught you to swaddle and because you nannied a couple kids. You learned all the things, you are set. NO. Everything you learned is just a mere shadow. I know you think judgmental things about other mom’s choices on breast feeding (gasp! my babies will never drink formula!) and on disciple (my kids will never act like that!) 

Stuff’s about to get real. Those things you never thought your kids would do, that you would never let them do….guess what, they do it all: drink formula, throw fits in public, watch tv, eat candy….) and guess what? It’s ok, they are still alive and so are you. It’s made you humble, less judgmental. It’s made you look at other moms as partners in motherhood, not objects of scorn. Now you can give sympathy glances to the parents you once judged because you have been there too. You can let go of how you think this whole being a mom thing should have turned out because there is no one perfect way to be a mom. Every woman is unique and how they mother is unique, every mom has their own thing. 

So Pre-kid Megan, I wish you could just let it go now and be at peace with being you. Be at peace with being the mom who feels like a hot mess most of the time and who is just trying to figure out how to be responsible for two precious lives. It’s ok if you aren’t the crunchy organic, fit mom….but at least your kids like peas (or at least they do today!)

You can do this, scared, anxious Megan. God chose you to do this and he will equip you. Just lean into Him in those rough moments because there will be a lot of them….like a lot. You will want to run screaming down the street because you FEEL like you just can’t. But you can, run to Jesus. He Can. 

Love,

Future (two kids less than 2 years apart) Megan 

P.S. watch out for the rhythm method, it doesn't work.  

Photo Cred: Laken Fulton Photography