That is the question that I ask myself regularly. Should I put my thoughts out on the interwebs? Is that self-seeking or prideful to think that I have something to share with the world (or rather with my Facebook friends who are the only ones who read it anyway?)

 I love to write. I’ve kept a journal since I was in middle school and one day my dream is to write a book. 

But figuring out how to make frequent blog posts and have time to start a book plus live my regular life is overwhelming to me. I have a lot of ideas but trying to get them implemented is proving very difficult. 

I know it takes work to make your dreams come true and I am currently trying to figure out how that works in my life. 

I’m still unsure how to answer the blog or not to blog question. What are your thoughts? How do you make your dreams happen in your daily life?

3 Takeaways from The Contentment Challenge

Keeping our eyes out for beautiful places while we run errands. 

The Contentment Challenge is over, how'd ya do? (Not sure what I am talking about click HERE! to find out more. )

Challenging myself to focus on gratitude every day for 7 days really opened my eyes about where I put my focus. I think that I learned a lot that I want to keep implementing into my daily life.

My 3 Takeaways from The Contentment Challenge 

1. What I read and put into my mind makes a HUGE difference in my thought life.

While I was on the Contentment Challenge, I was reading two vastly different books. One was a very sad story about motherhood and the other was Uninvited by Lysa Terkeurst. Each story was impacting me in different ways. I would feel uplifted or depressed depending on which one I was reading. I remembered something I heard when I was in a college group at church: "If you put garbage in, you get garbage out." The pastor was referencing what we allow into our minds. 

If I dwell on depressing stories or negative thoughts, it impacts how I feel about myself and my life. 



2. Just because a thought comes into my mind doesn't mean I have to think it.

This is something that I learned while reading The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis (which is an amazing book!) The whole premise is that we each have a demon that is assigned to us to tempt us from following God's will for our lives. And that is something that I truly believe. 

It is good for us to check our thoughts and align them with the truth of God's Word. If it doesn't line up with that, we can literally dismiss it and move on. We do not have to dwell on it because it might not even be from us or God. 


And the BIGGEST thing:

3. We have a choice on what we will do with our thoughts: Dwell on them or expel them. 

I feel a little like Joyce Meyer when I make up rhymes about God's truth but it's so catchy! We have the choice on what we focus on. It is something that is easy to forget. 

The Contentment Challenge helped me to remember to be intentional with my thought life. 

Did it help you remember important truths or teach you new ones?

How to be Content (Plus a 7 Day Challenge!)

This morning, I was pouring my heart out in my journal about all the things that I was unsatisfied with in my life. There were wounds from the past that just won't seem to heal and new circumstances that bring fear into my life.  I asked God to come through like He has in the past and answer my prayers. I wanted him to bring something new into my life. I felt weary and ashamed about where I was at. 

Then, I cracked open my bible that I haven't been reading for the past few weeks (insert monkey covering eyes emoji here!) and started reading where my ribbon bookmark was in Hebrews Chapter 13. There is some good stuff in that chapter that covers a wide variety of topics but this phrase in verse 5 grabbed my attention:

“…Be content with what you have.” 

Contentment is always something that I have struggled with. I am either gazing longingly into the future for how things will be better OR I am staring into the past at my “glory days” or my regrets. 

To be Content is defined as being “satisfied, adequately happy, willing, [or in a] satisfied state.” (According to my ole American Century Dictionary!)

What enables us to be happy, satisfied, and willing? I immediately thought of that quote that I’ve seen floating around in cute lettering:

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.”

All day long our focus can be turned towards what we don't have. Social media and iPhones have brought a plethora of information to our fingertips. 

We can see everything we don’t have, we can make wish lists on Amazon, and we can see what everyone is doing without us. When we are constantly gazing at those things we can come away feeling discouraged, resentful, and with a bad case of the “I wants.” 

What if the remedy for the “I wants” and discontentment is gratitude? What if we turn our eyes away from other people and instead turn them towards what is ours RIGHT NOW?  Keeping our eyes on our own marriages, kids, friends, and gifts? Then what if we chose to be thankful for those things?

What if thankfulness paves the way for happiness and contentment?

I want to do a little experiment with this theory for a week and I want YOU to join me! I've created an outline to challenge myself to change my thinking. 

Here's what I want us to do (If you are willing, no pressure, but I have a hunch it'll be great!)...

7 Day Contentment Challenge

1. Right now, wherever you are at, check in with yourself. How are you feeling? Are you satisfied or unsatisfied in your life? What specifically is weighing on your mind?

2. Whatever feelings came up, write them down.

3. Everyday, for the next 7 days write down THREE things you are thankful for. 

4. At the end of the 7 days, check in with yourself again. How are you feeling? Do you feel more satisfied or unsatisfied in your life? Is there anything still weighing you down?

---- That's it! Sounds easy enough, right?! 

I will be sharing my experience on the blog next week and I would love to hear from you about your experience!

If you are interested in sharing your experience in the 7 Day Contentment Challenge, please send me a message or comment!

See you in a week, hopefully feeling more content!

Three Things I Learned in One Year of Blogging

This past April I celebrated one year of blogging. I was pumped! I had plans to create a giveaway, write about what I learned, do a roundup of my favorite posts…etc. I was thinking about it constantly and before I had a chance to implement any of it my computer broke. 

I panicked because I was afraid of losing any followers from not posting regularly. It was silly, but once the panic subsided, I decided to give my brain time off from thinking about anything blogging related.

I didn't write regularly, I was just doing my daily life. After a couple of weeks into my computer being broken, I realized that I had been blogging from a place of desiring affirmation. It felt good to get likes and comments when I published a post.

That motivation is not where I wanted to write from because it left me feeling panicked about how I could get more comments and likes the next time. I was hustling to share my posts on all the social media sites and  trying to network with other bloggers. Basically, spinning my wheels trying to get those shares, likes, and comments. 

In light of this, I have struggled with if I should even blog at all, if there really is a point to it. 

I have been reading in Hebrews lately,  and in Chapter 10, it talks about how we have confidence in Christ because what he has done for us. It also warns us to not throw that confidence away (Hebrews 10:35). I realized that I was throwing away my confidence by putting it in myself and what I could do to get those likes and comments to feed my need for affirmation.

When I write from my confidence in Christ, I write because I want to encourage other believers in their walks with Christ. It’s a joy and my soul is refreshed. 

The balance between writing for Christ and writing for affirmation is one that I am continuing to work out. 

In that vein of wanting to encourage others, here are three things that I have learned this past year of blogging. 

Three Things I have Learned in One Year of Blogging:

1. Challenge yourself with your dreams:

I have wanted to be a writer since I was young and one day I dream of writing a book that gets published. Pushing myself to write regularly on my blog was a step towards making my dreams happen. I can look back over the past year and see how my writing has changed and improved.

2. Perseverance pays off:

Persevering to achieve my goal of blogging one year, built my confidence in my dream to become a serious writer. Some months it was hard to create posts. Others months I wasn't even sure if what I had to say was that good. It was a journey that I stuck out.  I felt proud of myself when I hit that one year mark!

3. Life will pass you by unless you are intentional:

I realized that I wasn't just going to publish a book one day without doing anything to make it happen. My dream was only going to be achieved when I made time to pursue them. I fit it into everyday life, and made it a priority.

What steps do you need to take to follow your dreams?

The Comparison Trap Part 4: Comparison Q & A

Click here to read previous posts in this series: Part 1, Part 2, & Part 3. 

Do you ever feel alone in the struggle with comparison? That is simply not true. Everyone struggles with comparison to some degree and I hope this series has shed some light on that. For my last part in The Comparison Trap series, I wanted to gather a few bloggers and ask them questions about their experience with comparison. I hope you are encouraged by their answers. Don't forget to visit their blogs and show them some love for being vulnerable!

Here are the lovely ladies:

Ailie Baumann is passionate about Jesus thus her writings focus on inspiring people to a deeper relationship with God where they encounter more of Him and grow in their identity as His children. She lives in sunny South Africa with her husband and three young boys. Find her blogging at: www.p3alive.com

Ava James began Inspired By His Words following her test of faith. She lives in England, United Kingdom working in a medico-legal role.  She is passionate about music and writing for this generation and the struggles we face. In her free time, she rides horses and roller dances.She loves makeup artistry and coffee.

Déjà Riel is first and foremost a follower of Christ. She's a wife of 9 years to her very best friend and a mother to three beautiful children. If she had to sum herself up in one sentence she would say she's a California girl with the soul of a southern belle. She blogs at On The Corner of Riel & Parker. 









Comparison Q & A

1. Would you say that comparing yourself to others is a struggle in your life? 

Ailie: Yes comparison has been a struggle my whole life. I spent my adolescence often compared to my sister where I would be repeatedly told how she was the best at stuff and how beautiful she was. Plus, I only bloomed after high school so I felt invisible which only aggravated my susceptibility to comparing myself to others.

Ava: There was a time I struggled with this, but now I tend to try prayer first before I compare or remind myself of all the blessings I have instead of focusing on what I do not have.

Déjà: No I don't really do it that often I'm used to being different.

2. What things trigger you to compare yourself? 

Ailie: My insecurities and doubts trigger me to compare myself to others. I find that I often need to be validated by people and my internal validation which should come from God is still being developed. It’s a process of renewing my mind and leaning into God’s truth. I do struggle frequently still. I doubt my place, my worth and value, the impact I have on people’s lives. I don’t really see me (if that makes sense)

Ava: Seeing other girls in the place that I would like to be in.

Déjà:  When someone just has everything all together. It usually happens when I'm having a really bad day and just can't quite get anything right.

3. How do you feel once you have compared yourself to others? 

Ailie:  Usually when I compare myself to others I feel awful. My value, worth and self-esteem plummet like a rollercoaster dropping vertically down faster than lightening.

Ava: It can bring despair and discouragement.

Déjà: It makes me feel kind of low. It diminishes a little bit of my self-worth. 

4. Has comparing yourself affected your life in positive and/or negative ways?

Ailie: Most of the time comparing myself to other people has been a negative thing in my life. Don’t get me wrong, it does fuel my competitive side and motivates me to always give my best at everything I do. The negative side comes more in feeding my insecurities, being terribly hard on myself and not treating myself with kindness. I have to be reminded to be kind to myself or let myself off the hook. Comparing myself to others also fuels the perfectionist in me which adds stress to my life (because I never measure up to this ridiculously high standard).

Ava: In negative ways, which is one reason, why I have made a conscious decision to eliminate it from my life.

Déjà: Truthfully I used to compare myself more when I was a lot younger. Then after I compare I would try to do things as other people were doing them. But nothing ever seemed to really stick. As I got older I just started to embrace my uniqueness.

5. Do you take any steps to stop yourself from falling into comparison? 

Ailie: I try to renew my mind and often find that God reminds me of how he sees me. Sometimes my husband and friends will tell me to give myself a break or they will remind me that I am valuable. It’s very difficult at times. I also try to put on worship music to distract my mind in general from unhealthy thought patterns.

Ava: When the thought appears, I try to be complimentary, then pray positively for God to help me not think or act in a negative manner towards the person or situation.

Déjà:  I remind myself everyone has struggles you can't always see. For me I know comparing turns to jealousy and I don't want that in my life.

6. Are there any resources that have helped you think differently about comparison?

Ailie: This is a good question. I don’t know if I have a set resource per se. I have found that being married to a man who is incredibly authentic has grown me as a person to value authenticity and appreciate the diversity in people. This plus my own journey of healing that God has taken my heart on has helped me realize that God defines my worth and value not people or tasks that I do. Joyce Meyer’s Battlefield of the Mind for Kids is a great book that did help me a lot.

Ava: The Word of God and learning to be grateful by developing a thankful heart.

Déjà: Prayer has helped a lot. Remembering myself self-worth 

7. Do you recommend any passages of scripture that have helped you in trying to over this issue? 

Ailie: Yes, loads of Scriptures. I find that when I am comparing myself the best thing to do is to work on keeping my mind in line with God’s heart. The Bible tells us that we have the mind of Christ and one of my favourite verses is Philippians 4:8. It helps me guide my thinking. I also meditate on the Scriptures in the Bible about identity. (If you like you are welcome to sign up to my newsletter for the password to my resource library and download all the Scriptures I find helpful).

Ava: Galatians 6:4-5, 2 Corinthians 10:12, and 1 Corinthians 11:1

Déjà: 1 Samuel 16:7

8. Are there any other words of encouragement that you would offer other women who are struggling with comparison?

Ailie: Take it to God and ask him to reveal his Truth. Let God tell you how he sees you and let that truth sink into the very depths of your being. Allow God to be your all.

Ava: Try as hard as you can not to fall into this trap, because it will only make you go around in circles questioning yourself.  It is a tactic of the enemy to keep us discouraged and could lead to you questioning your self-worth, allow envy to enter your mind and heart.  If you choose to be content and thankful for where you are and what you have regardless of whether it isn't what you had hoped for - in that moment, you can develop a heart of gratitude for all the blessings in the present moment.  It takes time and practicing when you least feel like it.  Choose to keep your eyes on Christ instead.

Déjà: God made us all different individuals so we have to love ourselves for who he created and never forget that. 

I appreciate these three ladies from different places and their willingness to shed light on Comparison in their lives. 

Does knowing other people's stories help you feel less alone in your struggles with comparison? 

The Comparison Trap Part 3: Four Ways to Combat Comparison

Click Here to see previous posts in this series: Part 1 and Part 2. 

Considering how connected our culture is to social media and Jesus’s call to live in community with others, we can’t get away from the temptation to compare ourselves with one other. The enemy of our hearts will try to get us to give in it. But don’t! Try some of these things instead. 

When the urge to compare strikes us here are four things we can do to punch it in the face:

Four Ways to Combat Comparison

1. Complement what you are comparing.

When I saw a very cute blog and the blogger had more followers than me, I was tempted to envy her and think mean things. Instead, I wrote her a comment about how I loved her blog design and looked forward to reading her posts. It’s humbling to complement someone else and reminds us that life is not a competition. 

2. Take some time away. 

Sometimes I can drown in comparison if I am spending too much time on social media. I start to look at these people as my standard for who I should be and I get overwhelmed. That's when I find it is best for me to get off social media for a week or even just a day to return my focus to Christ and who he says I am (which is loved, unique, special, important, and worthy!) 

3. Decide whether you will be inspired or be made insecure by others. 

It's our choice how we will respond to the gifts and lives of other people. No one can make us feel insecure, we have a choice in where to get our security: in Christ who never disappoints or in other flawed human beings and whether I am better or worse than them. Just because someone else is beautiful or creative doesn't mean that you aren't. Others’ beauty doesn't take away from you or make you any less beautiful. Which is a hard thing to wrap our minds around, I know. 

4. Memorize Scripture that talks about our different functions & gifts.

This is the number one best thing we can do in my opinion! The Word of God can help us overcome anything because it is living and active:

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12 NIV

Hiding it in our hearts can fight off comparison the moment it wants to catch us. Write out verses on notecards and post them around your house or in your car. Make a scripture memory journal (Or buy one: I have this one and this one is really cute too!) to reference as you are memorizing The Word. 

Here are two great passages to start with: 

-1 Corinthians 12:1-27 (We are all many parts of one body.)

-Psalm 139 (We are uniquely made.)

I hope these four things can help you combat comparison in your own life. 

What has helped you fight the temptation to compare?  

I would love to know your ideas!

The Comparison Trap Part 2: The Consequences of Comparison

For Part 1 in the Comparison Trap series click HERE.

When I was a new mom, I was functioning in survival mode from sleep deprivation. I could only do a few things like drink coffee and feed my baby, everything else in my life fell away because I had no capacity to do anything else. I lost my train of thought often and my brain was fuzzy. The exhaustion of not getting enough sleep was catching up to me making me cranky and self-focused. That’s the thing about survival mode, your body is just thinking about whatever it can do to preserve self. 

Comparison can put us in a type of survival mode. A mode that is devoid of God's peace. Instead of peace, we usually like in two different attitudes: 

1. Fear

Comparison can strike panic into our hearts, with thoughts of “I don't want that to happen to me or my family.”  or “I’m a failure.” We begin to feel like we aren't not doing enough, being enough,  or are enough based on how we see other people living and serving Jesus. 

OR

2. Envy 

Comparison makes us jealous of what others have: their creativity, houses, money, looks and the list goes on and on.

Fear and envy are the fruit of our hearts when we begin comparing ourselves to others.

Living in a state of fear or envy is like living in survival mode because we can only see what is right in front of us, namely how we are failing or not measuring up. we can't see the whole picture because all we can focus on is ourselves and our shortcomings. Our accomplishments, the good we do, and the love God has for us all fades away. 

I think about God’s peace being like sleep. We need sleep to function properly and we need God’s peace if we are to function in the Spirit. If we are deprived of His Peace, then we are functioning in a frantic survival mode that doesn’t help us to connect to Him or other people. We become cranky, our thoughts are disjointed and don't make the most sense. 

Comparison takes things away from us, there are consequences if we give in to the fear and envy it brings. Our capacity to do what God has called us to do is lowered. 

The Consequences of Comparison are: 

-loss of community with those we are comparing ourselves too

-a skewed view of ourselves and others 

-a lack of appreciation for God’s creativity 

-a loss of the ability to express our own creativity

This is detailed in Galatians 5:16-24. Paul talks about life in the spirit versus life in the flesh. Comparison happens in the flesh and this is what we can expect when we are acting in the flesh:

“ …Hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions….” (Galatians 5:20)

I know that those things are not what God wants for us. He does not want us to live in fear (2 Timothy 1:7) or envy (Galatians 5:21). He wants us to be at peace and full of joy, to be filled with the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22). 

We can do that if we can learn to stop measuring our worth based on who other people are/what they are doing and start getting our worth from the one who tells us we are  

“…fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14) 

Have you seen consequences from comparison in your own life? 

The Comparison Trap Part 1: The Root of Comparison

It seems like the temptation to compare myself to my friends and strangers on the internet is a daily, even hourly struggle. At any given moment I have the ability to see what everyone is doing and not just what they are doing but a filtered version that looks beautiful and lovely. Don't get me wrong, I love looking at the pretty pictures on Instagram and I honestly love trying to create beautiful pictures too. 

But the key word here is: create. 

Sometimes I capture beautiful spontaneous moments and sometimes I rearrange things to be more pleasing to the eye. But you would have no way of knowing which ones those are. You don't know what happened during those pictures if the smile is natural or forced. You can’t know the real me based on tiny squares on the internet. Because you know what’s definitely not pictured there are the times I snap in anger or the pile of dirty dishes in my sink. It’s just not as pretty. Almost everyone is trying to put their best foot forward on social media and we shouldn’t compare their best with our worst. It’s not fair to ourselves. 

Since my New Year’s Reflection, I have been thinking about this issue in my life. 

When I first had the idea to write a post about comparison, I thought it would be a quick one with my ideas of ways that I try to combat it in my own life. As I started to write, I could see that just sharing tips wouldn't be enough. Comparison is multi-faceted. I started thinking about why we compare ourselves, what happens when we do, and how we can fight it.That was too much information for one post that I decided to make it into a series. I am excited to do my first series with you guys and I can't wait to hear your thoughts on comparison as well! 

Let's start at the beginning with Part One in this series, The Comparison Trap. I want to look at the Root of Comparison in our lives.

The Comparison Trap, Part 1: The Root of Comparison

Why do we compare ourselves? 

Maybe it started when we were young and we were compared to a sibling or a friend and we realized that we weren't matching their standard.  Or maybe it’s because we live in a society that puts perfection on a pedestal and we are always trying to keep up with that impossible standard. 

We might compare because we are trying to figure out:

1. Where we fit

2. Who our people are

3. What we are called to be doing

Which isn't necessarily a bad thing because the Bible tells us we are all many parts of one body. (1 Corinthians 12:12-27) If we are a nose, knowing that the nose is on the face would be a good thing so that we can function properly. If we look at who we are as the nose and then decide that we aren't as good as the eyes, then that's a problem. A body needs both eyes and a nose. Each part is important to remain whole and function properly. 

In light of this, what does COMPARISON actually mean? 

According to Miriam Webster and Dictionary.com, the word COMPARE is a verb. It is an action that examines two items closely to see the similarities and differences between them. 

Seeing the differences and similarities between people is a natural thing to do. BUT we have a choice on how we respond after we gather that information: condemn or celebrate.  Let’s CELEBRATE what we find instead of condemning; condemning ourselves and each other because we are different.  

Why do we condemn and not celebrate? I think it all has to do with our pride.

In my opinion, the root of comparison is pride. 

Pride is more obvious if we are finding ourselves greater and others less, but if we are finding ourselves lesser and others greater that’s pride too! Crazy, huh? 

I’ll never forget when I heard pride being described as “Wow is me” and “Woe is me”  during a sermon at church. (This book even talks about it too!) It has never left me. I thought I was being humble because I wasn't thinking that highly of myself. I was still being prideful because I was focused on me. The common word in those descriptions of pride is ME. 

We need to remove "me" from the equation and instead realize it's about Christ: how he made us and how he created others. His standard is "..love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 12:31). We can't do that if we are constantly judging whether or not we are worse or better than them. 

1 Corinthians 13:4 says love “is not proud.” If pride is at the center of our hearts we can't be loving our neighbors or ourselves as God has called us to.

What do you think the root of comparison is in your life? Is it pride or something else?